Shalom!

We are in a time of year when the Jewish value of hachnasat orchim, the welcoming of guests — hospitality — is very much with us. It started with our feasts at Rosh Ha-Shana and our Break-the-Fast at Yom Kippur and then came Sukkot, when our tradition tells us that we are to engage in the wonderful minhag (custom) of ushpizin — welcoming of guests into our Sukkah.

The founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, Mordecai Kaplan, teaches us that as American Jews, our goal is to creatively and joyfully dwell in "two civilizations" — our American culture, and our Jewish culture. So - in the midst of our "Jewish time," we come upon our American, secular time markers — Halloween - yes, yes — pagan, wiccan, etc. - but there is an element of hospitality here too -- so often, we are isolated from our neighbors. On this night, however, we smile and open our doors to the young ones dressed in their costumes who come to our doors as say, mostly so innocently "trick or treat!" And we offer them sweet candies! We tell them how great their costumes are and they move along from house to house, their parents standing at a discreet distance, loving them, watching over them — and for a few hours on that night, neighbors see each other's faces, and we welcome each other with sweets. Then, of course - Thanksgiving comes upon us, in just a few weeks - we gather with our families and friends, open our doors, and prepare sumptuous meals (and, we hope, help others less fortunate, if we can). This is a time to be grateful, as Psalm 92 says, "tov l'hodot" — it is good to give thanks" - and it is a time to welcome guests into our homes.

Just about this time, in our annual Torah reading, depending on the lunar calendar, we begin to read the long, dramatic and complex Torah portion, Vayera (Genesis 18:1-22:24). At the very beginning of this portion, we learn about Abraham and Sarah's hospitality in welcoming three strangers ("men" - sometimes identified as "angels of God"), tending to all their needs and offering them food and drink. This warm welcome has come to be known in Torah as the first exemplary act of hospitality - and the model for the Jewish way of welcoming guests (see Genesis 18:1-1-15). 

Below, I share with you my friend and colleague, Dr. Erica Brown's comments about this portion and the whole topic of hospitality. Please do take the time to read it. But before you do, please consider how we at Kol Ami can extend hospitality to one another. Thanksgiving is coming up. Ask yourself:

•     Is there anyone in the Kol Ami community that might be alone this Thanksgiving? How can I/we let it be known that I/we have a place at my/our table (and in my/our heart/s) to welcome him or her?

AND THERE'S ALWAYS SHABBAT:

•     Are we setting a lovely Shabbat meal on the table this week? If so, who in the Kol Ami community might we want to invite to join us for Shabbos dinner or Shabbat lunch or afternoon tea? For some good food, good company and good conversation?

AND THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER TIMES!

•     Are there newcomers to our community who we would like to welcome? When can we invite them over for dinner, or Sunday brunch or afternoon tea?

Please enjoy Dr. Erica Brown's words!

With many blessings,

Rabbi Leila      

The Best Host
by Dr. Erica Brown  
 
"If one feeds the hungry, one should give the best and the sweetest of one's table."
Maimonides
 

Sometimes, in giving to others, we give the least of what we have rather than the best. I was once speaking to a woman who worked in a second-hand store for a charity. She said, "It's amazing what some people give. Ripped clothes, broken toys. Do they think poor people have no dignity?" Maybe in the mind of the giver, a shirt with a hole is better than no shirt at all, but in the mind of the receiver, the clothes show disdain and insensitivity.
 
Maimonides reflects on what we should be thinking when we give something to others in his laws about what is prohibited to offer as a sacrifice on an altar in the ancient days of Jerusalem. What's the connection? In Jewish tradition, our table is regarded as an altar. When we make Kiddush on wine and eat challah on Shabbat, we are mimicking sacrifices that took place long ago. When we have guests and give them the best of what we have, we are sanctifying our homes and creating, what I call, table-holiness. . .
 
The idea of giving the best of what we have to others, according to Maimonides, extends to several areas, including our quote above:
 
...everything which is done for the sake of the good God should be the finest and the best. If one builds a house of prayer, it should be finer than his private dwelling...If he clothes the naked, he should give him the finest of his garments. If he dedicates something to God, he ought to give the best of his possessions.
 
We give the best of what we have not only because others deserve it but because it reflects on our own sense of personal excellence. Giving the best of what you have requires generosity and discipline. It is too easy to give less than the best. It's a habit that we have to teach our children at a very young age because it's counter-cultural. In society today, we are often seduced into saving the best for ourselves. We call this entitlement. We often say, "I deserve the best" rather than "I must give others the best."
 
. . . THIS COMING SHABBAT, NOVEMBER 6-7  many synagogues will read the Torah portion of Va-yera. In it, Abraham lifts his eyes at his tent door and sees three strangers. He runs to them and asks for the privilege of serving them. He rushes to Sarah to ask her to make cakes of the finest flour and then personally gets them meat - a meal fit for royalty that is offered to people he never met. It happens that these three gentlemen are actually angels sent to deliver the message that Sarah will finally give birth. But what's striking about this text is that before they even give the news, they are treated to the kind of angelic hospitality that makes us understand why Abraham and Sarah were the first Jews and our first leaders.
 
In honor of their leadership and hospitality, . . .  the Partnership for Jewish Life and Learning has declared this coming Shabbat, Shabbat Orkhim, the Shabbat for Jewish Hospitality. To help prepare you, we have created a hospitality toolbox with recommendations for synagogues and hosts, quick and inexpensive recipes and advice for hosting, and Jewish source sheets with texts about being a good host and being a good guest (go to our homepage www.pjll.org). In honor of Abraham and Sarah, we ask that this coming Shabbat you invite guests over who you have never had before so that they get a chance to experience your angelic hospitality, the way that you give the best of yourself to relative strangers. RABBI LEILA COMMENTS: IF YOU CAN'T GET IT TOGETHER FOR THIS SHABBAT, PLAN AHEAD FOR ANOTHER ONE SOON!
 
We are privileged to live at a time of great abundance, no matter what economic forecasts tell us. That abundance is much more psychological than material. Maimonides offers us good advice. Be abundant in your generosity. Don't save the best for yourself. Offer it to God. Offer it to friends. Sacrifice it to strangers. Make your table holy by giving the best of what you have to someone else.